Chapter 144: is it ok to cry...
be brave. whether it's me or you.
i have no idea whether he has seen my personal message but i think he should. i can't help feeling hopeless. i've a feeling he's leaving tomorrow and that everything's re-scheduled but i couldn't do a thing. i can only send my wishes like the above. i think i'm so silly. well, i'll listen to burrr and let time do the talking.
i haven't been blogging. i drown the moment i see Chapter 143. i haven't even been myself. been harsh, whether it's me or things. it seemed all song lyrics applied to me. like so many... cheerless. nevertheless, maybe what i'm going through had to happen, partly to gain enough life experience before turning 20? i've yet turned 19 even. like going through how it feels to be "Broken"? wow. am i making sense? even if things have to take place, why did God choose this to be a challenge? so malicious.
Orthodontics Talk:
i had my 2 extractions on Thursday the 16th. i wasn't afraid of going through the same thing again until Doctor spent like 5 minutes to extract my upper molar. he shook, twist, pull throughout the 5 minutes. 5 minutes of anguish... the nurses weren't free, nobody held on to my head so . . .
after that the Doctor asked me, "were you afraid? or you have confidence in me?" i said i believe in him. he said "awww, thank you." he was so cute. oh and did i mention he shares the same surname as him? my dad even joked about discounts because of the surname, i stared at him, he laughed and all of us laughed together lol. and ya, the anesthetic this time round was stronger than the last, my nose was also numb. i experienced the numbness, sourness and pain for near 3 hours. felt like crying but i got through. dinner sucked. i have Separators in-between my upper and lower 2nd and 3rd molars. they're actually tiny light blue rubber bands that aid in creating gaps between your teeth. they'll expand in size. i've to wear them for a week at least. swallowed porridge. i couldn't chew. Friday wasn't any better. i was lazy to go down to NTUC to buy Cornflakes and milk so i forced a slice of bread down my throat. i pestered Jake to buy Cornflakes for me before he went out. he refused but he sms-ed me later in the evening saying that he got it. i was like so happy until he told me when he reached home, "you think i went NTUC purposely to buy that for you? my friends wanted to get crackers."
. . . NEHNEH. nvm, anyway i'm happy with Cornflakes. great for consumption after soaking them for awhile since they're thin. otherwise i'll cry further having other foods. but hor, i had Nasi Lemak, Cornetto icecream, apple today. the Lemak took me 30 minutes to finish. i position the Ikan-Bilis at my 3rd molar but still pain la no matter what. icecream's cone was another killer. took me another 15 minutes then the apple was soft yet i took another 15 minutes.
the Separators are godly i must say.
oh ya, i did not manage to book my appointment the same day as wenling. nvm, we'll work it out to have brackets of the same color ^^ mmm... so the fixing of braces would be a day right after my birthday. 2 big days in a row. he'll remember, he'll wish me "Happy Birthday". please tell me he will.