ah-gong
the past 2 times i went over to visit you and popo, you were still talking about me. back in Lim Chu Kang, no matter how you stopped the toddler-me, i continued climbing up and down the 4-seater swing. and the very last time i went over, mummy was cutting your hair. i almost cried when i saw you having problems getting up from the chair after the haircut. popo came over to help you up, intense grasping causes blueblack on your arms. both of them managed to move you to your favourite armchair only after some time. thereafter, you breathed heavily. over the years, you turned skinnier and skinner, until there's only a layer of skin left wrapping your bones.
i remember how you placed cushions over the window ledge, looking out of the corridor long ago. i remember how you used to go over to the kopitiam opposite the block and look at people playing chess, drinking black coffee long long ago. i remember how you call my name. i remember how you asked me to help myself to the food on the table when i'm over at your house. i remember how you asked me to pour a glass of water for you. i remember you having the oxygen mask on usually when i go over to your house recently. i remember how you laugh and talk when we watch tv together in the afternoon. i remember how you talked to me about newborn baby cousin. i remember how you asked me to write down 4D results. and i remember how you sighed while looking at them.
ever since mummy started working and as i grew older, i seldom visit you. we used to visit you once a week, but nowadays we only went over for dinner or on a Saturday when mummy's free or when we want to. i regret, for i should have went over to see you more often. i had wanted to buy 'gor hiong' that very last time i visited you, with your favourite 'dao-gua'. i reached home yesterday night and tried searching for the photo which i took with you when i was a baby. i wanted to put it in my purse and bring you wherever i go. i couldn't find it. and i realised i do not have any photos with you taken throughout the 18years. there's only 2 or 3 pictures with popo too.
may you be happy in heaven, after being apart from all the pain you went through all these years. i'll place you in my heart.
- lots of love, your 'char bor sun'.
i remember how you placed cushions over the window ledge, looking out of the corridor long ago. i remember how you used to go over to the kopitiam opposite the block and look at people playing chess, drinking black coffee long long ago. i remember how you call my name. i remember how you asked me to help myself to the food on the table when i'm over at your house. i remember how you asked me to pour a glass of water for you. i remember you having the oxygen mask on usually when i go over to your house recently. i remember how you laugh and talk when we watch tv together in the afternoon. i remember how you talked to me about newborn baby cousin. i remember how you asked me to write down 4D results. and i remember how you sighed while looking at them.
ever since mummy started working and as i grew older, i seldom visit you. we used to visit you once a week, but nowadays we only went over for dinner or on a Saturday when mummy's free or when we want to. i regret, for i should have went over to see you more often. i had wanted to buy 'gor hiong' that very last time i visited you, with your favourite 'dao-gua'. i reached home yesterday night and tried searching for the photo which i took with you when i was a baby. i wanted to put it in my purse and bring you wherever i go. i couldn't find it. and i realised i do not have any photos with you taken throughout the 18years. there's only 2 or 3 pictures with popo too.
may you be happy in heaven, after being apart from all the pain you went through all these years. i'll place you in my heart.
- lots of love, your 'char bor sun'.